1. Ain't No Pill

From the recording Ain't No Pill


I battled with the bottle
And I argued with God
I wrestled with the demons
And the misery they brought. 
Sat alone in a room
Hoping for a quick end
With a bullet in the drawer
And a gun in my hand.
No matter where I traveled
Couldn’t find a home
Trouble always finds me
No matter where I go. 
Can’t wash it off with water
Can’t burn it in the fire
All the devils stood back
Appalled at my desires.
Feeling less human
More like an animal
Feasting on the flesh
Cassinova,  part cannibal.
Life twisted up mess
More and more
I couldn’t put my feet upon
This cold linoleum floor.
Didn’t want to hear the music
Cause I hated that sound
That reminded me of days
When I was stronger, not now.
The fear was so real
I trembled through the nights
Dreams stained my mind
Blackened my eyes.
And there ain’t no pill
No drink or drug
No pretty girls kneeling down
With promises of real love
To cure my disease
And give me peace
And clear my head
Make me what I used to be.
(My body breaking down
Nobody understands
All I know for sure
I’m dying as fast as I can.)
He was knocking on my door
But I didn’t want to leave
White knuckled the bedposts
Till my fingers did bleed.
Where is my place
What ails my soul
What hurts my heart
Why I’m out of control
When did I stop believing
In all my secret dreams
When did I quit and give up
Oh, it’s way beyond me.
I couldn’t be happy
With money and cars
And I wasn’t satisfied
When I picked up this guitar
And all the women hanging round
Here most of my life
I pushed every one away
Cause I didn’t have the time
Lovers in the dark
Didn’t even know their names
Did it really matter?
In the moon they’re all the same
I licked every inch
Every little smooth curve
Maybe somebody’s wife
Maybe somebody’s best girl.
Then the weight crashing down
It buckled my knees
And I knew I was broken
I was not complete.